A Handful of Years Ago I Went Through Something Very Difficult in My Life
This is a Personal Story About Not Alone
The nature of this experience was one that could break a person in half and required a lot of processing and work to pick myself back up again. There was a profound shift in my life from what had happened. It was a really, really difficult time. The healing and working through it did not come overnight even though I really wanted it to. It was a baby step by baby step process that included learning about and finding tools that would support me. It was slow and hard and I had to dig so deep within myself. Have you ever had that? Where you had to dig so deep, deep, deep into your soul that you didn’t even know if you could go that deep? It was one of those times.
Here Is the Thing
Even though this was my work to do, even though no one could work through this for me, even though it was a slow and painful process, I was Not Alone. I cannot even express the significance of the power of Not Alone during this difficult time of my life.
A few trusted people in my life “bookended” me through this, shoulder to shoulder, on each side of me. If I felt ready to move forward a step, they said, “let’s go”. If I needed two steps back they said, “we are with you”. They never pushed nor pulled nor prodded. They always wished the best for me but never demanded it. There was never a need for me to feel better so they could feel better themselves. If we needed to sit in that difficult uncomfortable space for forever, well…that would be okay.
Of course, they wanted all good things for me. This was not some passive, hands off, this is your thing, kind of approach. No, this was an all hands on deck, we are in this together, we will get through it, kind of endeavor. They were just with me, just as I was, patiently with me. I was Not Alone.
I will never forget that. It was one of the hardest, most difficult experiences I have had to go through in my life. But at the same time, to feel that kind of, I’m going to love you through this, I am with you through all the hard things, I will stay with you forever, for as long as we need to be here, was one of the most healing, awe-inspiring things I have ever felt. To be carried in such a way, we all deserve such things in our lives.
Sometimes that is all it takes, isn’t it? We want our people to just be there with us, for us. It is often enough to sooth our soul in a way that gives us strength, courage, and relief. It also empowers us to take the next step in order to heal and grow.
I don’t think we are meant to go at it alone. Our culture tells us that this is the preferred way, that it somehow stands as the true badge of strength and power. We do things “our way”, fly solo, go at it alone. So we do that. But how well does that really work out for us?
Our vulnerabilities and our ability to let our guard down enables us to walk through life together.
In this way we are exposed to each other, relying on each other, putting hope into the strength and the safe haven of the relationship.
This is What a Meaningful Life is Build Upon
Let’s reach out to one another. Let’s find our Not Alone. Let’s not settle. We will go after it, seek, fight for it. We simply cannot accept this ideal that it is taboo to rely on each other, seek one another out, and share life and bread together. We will continue to seek. I will continue to seek. We will not settle.
With the same vigor that we pursue a sense of Not Alone for ourselves, let us also be the one that provides the Not Alone for someone else. Let us hold space for one other, and, in as much as we can muster up, be free from judgement. It is with that mindset that connection is often made. Or better yet, in our conversations, let’s not go into them trying to gain something for ourselves. Let’s lay that down.
Let’s Be Someone Else’s Not Alone, and in Turn, Find Our Own Not Alone
I am going to be talking more about things like relationship building, what it means to have and be a good friend, communication, and how to create a tool belt for self-care, and of course, creativity. All of these intermingle and lay the foundations for each other.
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It has been on my heart to share in this way and I want you to be there!
Copyright 2016 Shay Michelle All Rights Reserved